I’ve cooked up 10 silly jokes for everyone this week! please enjoy and let me know what you think in the comment section! XOXO
Oh, and here’s a photo of my favorite food section at the grocery store. The display is exquisite.
Homeowners should be legally required to disclose how many times they burnt popcorn in the microwave. I don’t want to live in a house haunted by corn. How does a German ninja say yes? Hai Jaaa! I’m convinced that people who use a default wallpaper on their phones, don’t have families or friends. Because they murdered them. There’s a theory that cavemen used to sleep on lofted beds. But it was debunked. I have a Vampire joke, but it’s never seen the light of day. I’m starting to think Princess Peach just doesn’t want to marry a plumber. I’m so nerdy that my first words were “Hello World.” If you’re making a movie about feet, you’re going to need a lot of footage. Why do people say “He’s going to murder you in your sleep,” as if being asleep makes it scarier? If anything it’d be a little more pleasant. My friend got front row tickets to a concert and my response was “Front row?! Oh no, I hope the musician doesn’t write a song about us!”
THANK YOU FOR READING!
UPCOMING SHOWS:
This Saturday I’ll be performing in Little Falls, Minnesota. “Laughing Out Loud” Tickets and info here: https://www.hometownsource.com/morrison_county_record/news/arts/laughing-out-loud---an-evening-of-comedy-with-schommer-and-friends-april-30/article_c6db45be-c177-11ec-af94-775c5ea82351.html
<3
This one is deep! Very funny!
I’m starting to think Princess Peach just doesn’t want to marry a plumber.
I think you’re on to something; a plumber can afford a castle, let alone multiple castles.