From Vampires to Feet - 10 New Jokes

Silly jokes by comedian Andy Erikson

I’ve cooked up 10 silly jokes for everyone this week! please enjoy and let me know what you think in the comment section! XOXO

Oh, and here’s a photo of my favorite food section at the grocery store. The display is exquisite.

Homeowners should be legally required to disclose how many times they burnt popcorn in the microwave.
I don’t want to live in a house haunted by corn.

How does a German ninja say yes? Hai Jaaa!

I’m convinced that people who use a default wallpaper on their phones, don’t have families or friends. Because they murdered them.

There’s a theory that cavemen used to sleep on lofted beds. But it was debunked.

I have a Vampire joke, but it’s never seen the light of day.

I’m starting to think Princess Peach just doesn’t want to marry a plumber.

I’m so nerdy that my first words were “Hello World.”

If you’re making a movie about feet, you’re going to need a lot of footage.

Why do people say “He’s going to murder you in your sleep,” as if being asleep makes it scarier? If anything it’d be a little more pleasant.

My friend got front row tickets to a concert and my response was “Front row?! Oh no, I hope the musician doesn’t write a song about us!”

THANK YOU FOR READING!

UPCOMING SHOWS:

This Saturday I’ll be performing in Little Falls, Minnesota. “Laughing Out Loud” Tickets and info here: https://www.hometownsource.com/morrison_county_record/news/arts/laughing-out-loud---an-evening-of-comedy-with-schommer-and-friends-april-30/article_c6db45be-c177-11ec-af94-775c5ea82351.html

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